środa, 4 marca 2015

Nothing New

Once, I told my friend that he shoud stop writting if he has nothing special/personal/new to say. If he feels that all had been told and done before. If he feels that there is nothing new in this world. Nothing untold...

I am usually quite strict when talking to him. I don't know why, but I feel like beeing straightforward makes me more easier to understand. That harsh straightforwardness is something I am not usually expressing... I am aware that some people like white lies and soft talk. I am aware that some people got used to being lied to. Got used to be treated with unnecessary excessive gentleness. Luckily, I have bunch of people with whom I can be starightforward (please do not mistake straightforwardness with being rude!!!).

More to the point, I am opposite to the claim that there is nothing new in this world. I feel sorry when people do not want to notice changes. Our life is so incredibly short and beautiful. Beautiful doesn't mean happy. Sadness may be beautifull too, as well as pain and death. It might sounds crazy, but it's the way I feel. Beauty is hiding everywere. It's old/ new beauty. It's nature. It's phisics and art. It's people. And what I am saying is not idealistic talk of Flower Child. I am not stupid to think that we can live in peace, happily ever after... I do not expect perfect life. I do not expect being healthy and rich. I do not expect love until grave.

What I want to say is that what we should notice in Everyday Chaos is LIFE. Just life itself. Life as it is. Life as never-ending circle. Just that.

What The Chaos means?

Recently I came to the conclusion, that I myself am The Chaos. 

By Chaos I do not mean mess and destruction. I do not mean never ending war or fight. What I mean are changes. Never ending unexpected changes. Chaos of new incidents, new accidents, new surprises.

I was everything. A Happy Child. A Bullied kid. A Volunteer. A Model. A Traveller. A Lover. A Heartbroken Girl. A Student. A Hostess. An Office Worker. An Artist. A Photographer. A Painter. A Teacher. I was happy, sad, lost, lonley, found, both loved and loving, angry, devasted, broken, smart,stupid, wise, responsible, scared to death, breave as warrior, tired to the point I couldn't even move, so happy I couldn't even imagine to be more happy...

All I felt, all I was & all I learnt makes me a person I am now. I am at that point in my life when I still need to change so many things... At the point when I cannot put off decissions much longer. Changes causes The Chaos and Chaos is necessary to find New Equillibrium. It sound like fancy cliche. It sound silly. But how often we avoid changes to avoid the chaos? How much we are getting used to the old order. I am asking myself a lot of questions, but the most important is :

"What if I told you 10 years from now your life would be 
exactly the same? ". 

Some photos I made this Winter. I know it's already a March but in Poland is still snowing from time to time.

wtorek, 6 stycznia 2015


     Last month I found my old camera. At first I was sure that it was broken. But somehow it wasn't. Photos are more than imperfect. Too light, too dark, weird... Like a dream, or old, faded memory. Memory of something beautiful. Memory of happiness. 

    Traditional photography seems to have something I cannot find in iphone selfies and digital cameras. No photoshop, no tricks to hide imperfections. Just captured moments.

sobota, 8 marca 2014